Britney Spears: Break The Ice (Official)

I think we all know why Britney (or rather, her record label) decided to do an anime video. The sad thing is, bitch has never looked better!

Must suck when your anime charter can lip-sync better then you!

Ashlee Simpson’s “Bittersweet” Cover

 

Apparently, Ashlee (or, her “people” i.e: her dad) was the only person in the world to think Britney’s “Blackout” cover art was anything worthwhile. SO worthwhile that she fashioned her newest album cover after it. I thought Ashlee got a nose job in order to make her look less awkward and more sophisticated? This cover is not doing that persona any favours. It is so blatantly created in Photoshop, that I could probably make one just as good. Tsk.

Oh, and will the 80’s just go away already?

Battle of The Baristas

Earlier this week, McDonald’s announced it will target the yuppie and minivan majority by drawing them in with Lattes, Mocha’s and the like.  Starbucks is apparently quaking in their boots. For starters, the BUX is a tad fragile right now having seen their stock plummet to almost half value in the past year, so they may have reason to worry that it’s only downhill from here. (side note: If you remember, Starbucks introduced “Breakfast Sandwiches” into their stores last year throwing the first punch in the McDonald’s/Starbucks battle) The coffee giant was SO distraught by their huge stock decrease, that they recently re-hired the Founder of the company Howard Schultz himself, hoping that he will give the brand some sort of Midas Touch.

Yes, McDonald’s is launching a new specialty coffee brand, however, in my mind (being a member of the yuppie majority) Starbux certainly has nothing to worry about… if they are confident in their product and brand that is. I don’t know many people that can say they are fond of the coffee McDonalds currently sells… so how are they going to fair with a specialty product? (word on the street is that their whip cream used on mocha’s comes in a SPRAY CAN… like the ones ppl use in the bedroom… ya, those!)

No matter what anyone tells you… there is still a certain cache to walking around holding a Starbucks to go;  I-spent-way-too-much-on-this-quality-cup-of-coffee-and-I-value-a-name-brand-don’t-I-look-hip-and-relavent? That cache, is something, McDonalds will never have. So, Howard, Howie, relax a little, will ya?

Below, you will find some photos of the McDonald’s Specialty Coffee Launch. Not terribly brill. Oh, and above… my fave Britney/Starbucks picture. She really glams up the brand.

Britney’s New Video: “Piece of Me”, or as I Call It “Piece of Shit”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89oS4SN4mNg

Some say she is ‘back’. I say if this is a comeback, god help us. The fact that so many people are pleasently surprised with Britney’s new video “Piece of Me”, shows how far she has fallen, and at this point, the public will take any scraps they can get.

This video has been done before, by Britney herself, and if you bother to watch the full thing, you’ll notice that it is a fusion of “Overprotected” and “Everytime”.  The premise is your typical, Britney dancing in a mid-riff baring shirt, giving “sexy” (notice the quotation marks) looks to the camera, all while sporting some used up wig. How fresh. It is reported that Britney’s record label spent $500,000 on this hunk of shit (the second most expensive Brit Brit video;”Toxic” was number one at $1,000,000). Anything to get their number one money maker back on track… right? Hey, good news is there’s no flash of her Cesarean section scar!

*BTW: is it just me, or her eyes just getting further and further apart??*

Christina Aguilera: Tanned, Bleached and Pregnant

Christina Aguilera naked… naturally. Christina Aguilera pregnant… uh huh. Christina Aguilera naked AND pregnant on the cover of Marie Claire, just the next logical step. First of all, these ”I may be pregnant, but I’m still hotter (and skinnier) then most non-pregnant ladies“ photoshoots are like SO 1991.

Secondly, nothing screams ’motherly’ like last nights makeup and hoop earrings bigger then my head. That being said, there IS something hilariously ironic about this photo being next to the headline, “Tanning, bleaching, botox: ARE YOU OBSESSED?”.

P.S: Above is the last documented picture of Britney looking somewhat attractive… think about it…. very trag.